Dear friends,
I feel as though I've been here for an eternity now and I keep wondering when I'm going to have to pack up and go home. Then the reality hits me that I AM home. The trouble is, it doesn't quite feel like home yet. For one thing, all my books, beloved stationary, fountain pen, odds and ends are still in a storage unit. I daren't unpack them because in six weeks or so I'll have to pack them again. That's right, I'm moving again. Our lease is up December 1st and we're off to a slightly larger place. One where I might just have room to set up a legitimate pantry or a craft area. One where the kitchen is not also the living room, and the bedroom.
It's not easy to be trying to settle and not settle too much at the same time. I want to be home. I yearn to be home, and yet I must wait.
This waiting puts me in mind of the verse that says
"Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head." Matthew 8:20
Where was I? Oh yeah, I think I was complaining about not feeling at home yet in this cozy apartment with a memory foam mattress topper and luxurious pillow.....how embarrassing. I can't believe that I would even begin to feel sorry for myself when Jesus himself had NOWHERE to lay his head that was his own. He had NOWHERE that he could call home. He slept outside, under the stars, and in the cold. He spent his days giving, giving, and giving until he exhausted himself. I spend my days working, staying busy, yes, but also whining and complaining a lot.
So my goal right now is not to focus on not being home quite yet, but on my home with Bruce. It's not the place really that is home, but the people. I don't really miss Morehead City or the beach as much as I miss Mom and Dad, Paul, and Grandmother. So I need to fill that bit of loneliness with my new home, my new family, Bruce. How can I adjust my heart, my emotions, my mindset to feel more at home with him? This is the question I intend to explore and answer. Stay tuned to find out my progress. Love to all! MG
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
A New Name, A New Life
Dear Friends,
I am now no longer Maria Lorraine McNiel. YES it's true, I got married! I am now Maria Lorraine Goff. And OH, how I love it! So I thought I would continue my blog as a married woman now. Exploring the challenges of being a stay at home wife in the big city. I haven't gotten quite used to using a dishwasher AND a dryer yet. I do miss hanging out the laundry.
But oh there are so many JOYS in being a wife. My husband delights in all the little things I do. Everything is like a little gift to him. The things that were routine to my family are so new and exciting to him. When I take out his shirt in the evening and iron it for the next day. When I greet him with dinner ready. When I tidy up the house and when I do the laundry. Each thing just gives him joy and thus giving me joy as well.
I am learning also that missing home is not bad. Grief of this kind is not so despairing. It is merely one's heart separating itself from what it was knit to before and re-knitting itself to a new family. Tearing and repairing can be a mite painful. But it will not last forever. There are things I miss about home, besides hanging out clothes of course. I miss the water. I miss afternoons sitting in my parents room rehashing the days events. I miss getting breakfast ready with my dad in the mornings, and hearing his talk radio when I got in the kitchen. I miss my grandmother shuffling around the house and telling me for the seventeenth time that she doesn't know what she'd do without me. Yes, I miss these things. I miss exercising with Lambeth in the mornings and meeting up with her for Bible studies. However, I do not long to have them back. It is merely a letting go, a saying goodbye that hurts.
When I begin to wax sad, I simply think of my husband. I think of his delight in me, the joy I have in helping him, and the joy of being in his arms and belonging to him, and the sadness seems to fade away. I have much to be thankful for. I can hardly wait to see where this journey will take my husband and me. Stay tuned to find out!
P.S. Here is a picture from our wedding day, and the picture of the twins I promised ;)
Such a beautiful day in my life!
This is a couple weeks after they were born. They are now six months old.
So yes, I am now a Texan. I live here in the big city, a country mouse trying to find her way. More to come! ~ Mrs. Maria Goff
I am now no longer Maria Lorraine McNiel. YES it's true, I got married! I am now Maria Lorraine Goff. And OH, how I love it! So I thought I would continue my blog as a married woman now. Exploring the challenges of being a stay at home wife in the big city. I haven't gotten quite used to using a dishwasher AND a dryer yet. I do miss hanging out the laundry.
But oh there are so many JOYS in being a wife. My husband delights in all the little things I do. Everything is like a little gift to him. The things that were routine to my family are so new and exciting to him. When I take out his shirt in the evening and iron it for the next day. When I greet him with dinner ready. When I tidy up the house and when I do the laundry. Each thing just gives him joy and thus giving me joy as well.
I am learning also that missing home is not bad. Grief of this kind is not so despairing. It is merely one's heart separating itself from what it was knit to before and re-knitting itself to a new family. Tearing and repairing can be a mite painful. But it will not last forever. There are things I miss about home, besides hanging out clothes of course. I miss the water. I miss afternoons sitting in my parents room rehashing the days events. I miss getting breakfast ready with my dad in the mornings, and hearing his talk radio when I got in the kitchen. I miss my grandmother shuffling around the house and telling me for the seventeenth time that she doesn't know what she'd do without me. Yes, I miss these things. I miss exercising with Lambeth in the mornings and meeting up with her for Bible studies. However, I do not long to have them back. It is merely a letting go, a saying goodbye that hurts.
When I begin to wax sad, I simply think of my husband. I think of his delight in me, the joy I have in helping him, and the joy of being in his arms and belonging to him, and the sadness seems to fade away. I have much to be thankful for. I can hardly wait to see where this journey will take my husband and me. Stay tuned to find out!
P.S. Here is a picture from our wedding day, and the picture of the twins I promised ;)
So yes, I am now a Texan. I live here in the big city, a country mouse trying to find her way. More to come! ~ Mrs. Maria Goff
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Nanny McNiel
Hello All,
Yep, I've been making the 'rounds again. Here I am in Chicago, its almost midnight and I'm wondering why I'm still awake. Next to me swinging gently and smacking his lips while he sleeps is my new nephew, Asher Monroe McNiel, and not far away is his sister, Genevieve Elaine McNiel. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the twins have finally arrived. We waited SO long and they are here. I do not yet have a picture to post, but I will as soon as I can. OH how I love newborns. Their soft, velvety heads and sweet milky breath. Nothing really makes you see God more clearly then holding a tiny new born, hearing their heartbeat, feeling their breath and realizing that He created this little being out of nothing. He spoke and it was there. He knit them together in the womb. What a God we serve!
So I start to wax a little homesick, but then I remember how blessed I am. I remember what great siblings I have and what a joy it is to serve them. I love being a nanny, whether it is to my family or to my newest little friend Vivian. Meanwhile I tuck my own little mothering hopes and dreams away and give them to God. He knows my heart so well. How grateful I am for such wonderful training that I have had in the art of maternal love. Therefore I rejoice and am glad, YEA and I will rejoice!
Yep, I've been making the 'rounds again. Here I am in Chicago, its almost midnight and I'm wondering why I'm still awake. Next to me swinging gently and smacking his lips while he sleeps is my new nephew, Asher Monroe McNiel, and not far away is his sister, Genevieve Elaine McNiel. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the twins have finally arrived. We waited SO long and they are here. I do not yet have a picture to post, but I will as soon as I can. OH how I love newborns. Their soft, velvety heads and sweet milky breath. Nothing really makes you see God more clearly then holding a tiny new born, hearing their heartbeat, feeling their breath and realizing that He created this little being out of nothing. He spoke and it was there. He knit them together in the womb. What a God we serve!
So I start to wax a little homesick, but then I remember how blessed I am. I remember what great siblings I have and what a joy it is to serve them. I love being a nanny, whether it is to my family or to my newest little friend Vivian. Meanwhile I tuck my own little mothering hopes and dreams away and give them to God. He knows my heart so well. How grateful I am for such wonderful training that I have had in the art of maternal love. Therefore I rejoice and am glad, YEA and I will rejoice!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Courtship 101
Hello out there!
Sorry that I've been so remiss in my posts. As it turns out, my life has been very full as of late. A new character has entered the scene. Here is my new friend. His name is Bruce Goff:
My new friend is also my suitor. I thought I'd give you all a little information on what courtship is all about. Courtship is the process of getting to know someone in order to decide whether or not you'd like to marry them. The young man approaches the father of a young lady and asks to spend time with her. The father spends some time getting to know the young man to discern whether or not he is prepared for marriage, suitable for his daughter, prepared for family leadership etc. Once the "vetting" is done, the father may or may not grant permission depending on how his conversations with the young man go. In my case, my dad said yes and invited Bruce for Christmas. After spending more time together, if the young man is still interested, he may then ask the father to "court" this means to intentionally set aside time to spend with the girl to further confirm his interest and then to persuade her. I need to stop here and put in a disclaimer that courtship varies from one family to the next and this is how it looks for me and my family. So Bruce and I have now been getting to know each other for a little over a month. All the big questions have been answered and now we are just developing our friendship and getting to know each other better. To some this may sound like arranged marriage or downright crazy, but it is SO much better than dating. How many girls go out with a guy only to find out that he is some creep that just wants to take advantage of you? That does not happen with courtship because the guy has to go through the dad first. How many guys get in a relationship and then want to get married but have to wait exorbitant amounts of time because he has no savings or job? This again does not happen in courtship. Courtship is getting to know someone for the right reasons, with the right things in line in your life, and having people watch out for you while you do it. Its that simple.
Bruce and I are enjoying this process, and hope to be an example to other people and to bring glory to God. So that is where I've been and who I've been with. The end.
Sorry that I've been so remiss in my posts. As it turns out, my life has been very full as of late. A new character has entered the scene. Here is my new friend. His name is Bruce Goff:
My new friend is also my suitor. I thought I'd give you all a little information on what courtship is all about. Courtship is the process of getting to know someone in order to decide whether or not you'd like to marry them. The young man approaches the father of a young lady and asks to spend time with her. The father spends some time getting to know the young man to discern whether or not he is prepared for marriage, suitable for his daughter, prepared for family leadership etc. Once the "vetting" is done, the father may or may not grant permission depending on how his conversations with the young man go. In my case, my dad said yes and invited Bruce for Christmas. After spending more time together, if the young man is still interested, he may then ask the father to "court" this means to intentionally set aside time to spend with the girl to further confirm his interest and then to persuade her. I need to stop here and put in a disclaimer that courtship varies from one family to the next and this is how it looks for me and my family. So Bruce and I have now been getting to know each other for a little over a month. All the big questions have been answered and now we are just developing our friendship and getting to know each other better. To some this may sound like arranged marriage or downright crazy, but it is SO much better than dating. How many girls go out with a guy only to find out that he is some creep that just wants to take advantage of you? That does not happen with courtship because the guy has to go through the dad first. How many guys get in a relationship and then want to get married but have to wait exorbitant amounts of time because he has no savings or job? This again does not happen in courtship. Courtship is getting to know someone for the right reasons, with the right things in line in your life, and having people watch out for you while you do it. Its that simple.
Bruce and I are enjoying this process, and hope to be an example to other people and to bring glory to God. So that is where I've been and who I've been with. The end.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Passing Seasons
What is it about the season that gets us so excited and in a flutter, only to come crashing down when its all over? Holidays are like a drug. They give us an unnatural high in which we revel the daylong. Suddenly, without warning, we come crashing down with a headache and a heartache.
I am a victim of this drug. For weeks I baked and cooked and decorated. I shopped and wrapped with care and dreamt of the smiles that would appear from said gifts. I yearned for the family and anticipated the dear friends. Then all at once it was upon me. Trips to the airport were made, and bedrooms were filled. Soon we were laughing and singing and eating like crazy. I enjoyed every minute of it. Even being woken in the night by a crying baby at 4 am. I relished it.
My sister and her husband and their ADORABLE baby were with us for ten glorious days. My friend, Bruce, came for four. We all had such a fantastic time. I can’t begin to tell you all the good times we had. Between our new stove, Javier’s new gun, Granny’s fruitcake and Abigail’s little washer machine, it was a perfect Christmas. We sang the most beautiful song at the candlelight service on Christmas Eve. We ate the most delectable foods. We played games and went on walks and talked until we all collapsed each night with exhaustion.
Then one day I woke up, and we packed everyone in the car, and they were gone. Everyone. Suddenly my house was empty. There were sheets to wash, and a refrigerator that looked like World War II. When I said my farewells at the airport, I felt okay. I was still feeling the residual giddiness from the week. When I got home, I thought I would be sick. It was all over. Somehow, I found the energy to undecorate the tree and strip the beds. I felt bereft and depressed.
I needed some TLC. I was just so blue and tired. It was, after all, New Years Eve. Mom and Dad had plans, and Granny had plans, and my plans were up in the air. I went to go take care of some Internet business and then just sporadically decided to take a walk on the beach. My heart was so full. As I walked, the Lord enveloped me in His love. He game me a spectacular sunset with which to say good-bye to the old year. He gave me encouragement from His Word, which I had brought along. I was uplifted. When I got home, I had just what I needed: confirmed plans, a quiet house to myself, a frozen pizza, and a chick flick. After my film I joined some fantastic friends for a Twilight Zone marathon, and rang in the New Year watching a crab pot drop downtown with my community. It was perfect. It was just what I needed.
The Lord sees that we are dust. He sees that we are so desperately weak. He knows my frame, and when I feel that the slightest breeze will crack me into a thousand pieces, He finds the gentlest way to whisper His love to me, and remind me that though the season has changed, and though my friends and family have returned home, He is still God, and He never changes. For someone who has SUCH a hard time with change, THAT is a comforting thought. ☺
Malachi 3:6a “ For I am the Lord, I change not…”
I am a victim of this drug. For weeks I baked and cooked and decorated. I shopped and wrapped with care and dreamt of the smiles that would appear from said gifts. I yearned for the family and anticipated the dear friends. Then all at once it was upon me. Trips to the airport were made, and bedrooms were filled. Soon we were laughing and singing and eating like crazy. I enjoyed every minute of it. Even being woken in the night by a crying baby at 4 am. I relished it.
My sister and her husband and their ADORABLE baby were with us for ten glorious days. My friend, Bruce, came for four. We all had such a fantastic time. I can’t begin to tell you all the good times we had. Between our new stove, Javier’s new gun, Granny’s fruitcake and Abigail’s little washer machine, it was a perfect Christmas. We sang the most beautiful song at the candlelight service on Christmas Eve. We ate the most delectable foods. We played games and went on walks and talked until we all collapsed each night with exhaustion.
Then one day I woke up, and we packed everyone in the car, and they were gone. Everyone. Suddenly my house was empty. There were sheets to wash, and a refrigerator that looked like World War II. When I said my farewells at the airport, I felt okay. I was still feeling the residual giddiness from the week. When I got home, I thought I would be sick. It was all over. Somehow, I found the energy to undecorate the tree and strip the beds. I felt bereft and depressed.
I needed some TLC. I was just so blue and tired. It was, after all, New Years Eve. Mom and Dad had plans, and Granny had plans, and my plans were up in the air. I went to go take care of some Internet business and then just sporadically decided to take a walk on the beach. My heart was so full. As I walked, the Lord enveloped me in His love. He game me a spectacular sunset with which to say good-bye to the old year. He gave me encouragement from His Word, which I had brought along. I was uplifted. When I got home, I had just what I needed: confirmed plans, a quiet house to myself, a frozen pizza, and a chick flick. After my film I joined some fantastic friends for a Twilight Zone marathon, and rang in the New Year watching a crab pot drop downtown with my community. It was perfect. It was just what I needed.
The Lord sees that we are dust. He sees that we are so desperately weak. He knows my frame, and when I feel that the slightest breeze will crack me into a thousand pieces, He finds the gentlest way to whisper His love to me, and remind me that though the season has changed, and though my friends and family have returned home, He is still God, and He never changes. For someone who has SUCH a hard time with change, THAT is a comforting thought. ☺
Malachi 3:6a “ For I am the Lord, I change not…”
Thursday, December 8, 2011
What is a Doula?
Dear friends,
Since I have decided that I want to pursue being a Doula after my Herbalism Program is complete, I decided to shed a little light on what a Doula really is. In the past, I have had a hard time explaining to people what a Doula is exactly. I did a little research last week, and have found out some very good things that I can share with y'all.
1) Doula comes from Ancient Greek δούλη (doulē) meaning "female slave." (this is from Wikipedia). In other words, a Doula serves as sort of a "lady-in-waiting" for the pregnant mother.
2) A Doula is a "birth companion" of sorts that helps a mother with everything from doing research and making informed decisions for her labor plan, to be there to support her and help her through her labor. She assists with breast feeding and post partum recovery.
I hope this helps !
Since I have decided that I want to pursue being a Doula after my Herbalism Program is complete, I decided to shed a little light on what a Doula really is. In the past, I have had a hard time explaining to people what a Doula is exactly. I did a little research last week, and have found out some very good things that I can share with y'all.
1) Doula comes from Ancient Greek δούλη (doulē) meaning "female slave." (this is from Wikipedia). In other words, a Doula serves as sort of a "lady-in-waiting" for the pregnant mother.
2) A Doula is a "birth companion" of sorts that helps a mother with everything from doing research and making informed decisions for her labor plan, to be there to support her and help her through her labor. She assists with breast feeding and post partum recovery.
I hope this helps !
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Journey West to be completed Later...But for now...
Hello all,
SOO as it turns out, my computer is having issues and so I am not able to post the rest of my pictures from my Journey West. The rest included Vegas, Grand Canyon, Crater Lake, Seattle, and Vancouver Island. It was a beautiful time and it was pure joy to see a very dear friend, Bjorn Stime marry his lovely bride.
Life has been moving right along here on the East coast. Since I arrived back on this side of the country I started working at Carteret Community College. I am an English tutor. I man the "Language Lab." People needing help with Enlish homework, grammar or writing papers come to me for help. Otherwise I just sit in here and work on my own stuff. Right now I'm learning how to knit socks. I will post a picture of my completed sock when I finish it. It is NOT easy. I had to rip out the heel and do it four times. I really enjoy knitting though which is a new developement. I've always been kind of a crochet type of gal.
My herbalism program is coming along. I'm supposed to finish lesson 11 today and 12 by the end of this week. I'd better get crackin'. Right now i'm practicing doing health analysis and evaluation on people. I did one on myself, a friend, and now I've got to finish one for a family member. I find it extremely exciting to look at someone's health history, family history, current symptoms and issues and to do research to find out what nutrients in foods, supplements and botanicals can help them. I love it. I absolutely can't wait, however, until I finish this and start working on my Doula certification. That is my real passion. I love pregnancy and everything about. I love ministering to pregnant women. I like reading about and developing botanical medicines and treatments for them. My latest project was a sitz bath mixture for post-partum healing. I got some ideas from my instructor, Mrs. Shonda Parker, and then also from another herbal company. Here is what I put in the mixture:
Post-Partum Sitz Bath:
I used Equal parts of
Comfrey leaf
Plantain Leaf
Lavendar Flowers
Chamomile Flowers
Calendula Flowers
St. Johns Wort
Arnica Flowers
Then I filled the rest of the bag up with Sea Salt. The finished product filled up a gallon zip-lock bag.
This isn't my mixture, but I thought it was a nice idea to put it in a mason jar and you could even tie a little ribbon around it!
I gave this and some other pregnancy goodies to a friend of mine for her baby shower. I've also made homemade Baby Bum Balm, and Baby Powder. I get most of my herbs from www.bulkherbstore.com and www.morethanalive.com they are great resources!
Other than that folks, i'm busy with my granny, with my family, cleaning my house using the AMAZING flylady system, and walking the beauiful Carolina beaches. Holiday preperations have begun. Stand-by for great recipe's and homemade gift ideas. See ya!
SOO as it turns out, my computer is having issues and so I am not able to post the rest of my pictures from my Journey West. The rest included Vegas, Grand Canyon, Crater Lake, Seattle, and Vancouver Island. It was a beautiful time and it was pure joy to see a very dear friend, Bjorn Stime marry his lovely bride.
Life has been moving right along here on the East coast. Since I arrived back on this side of the country I started working at Carteret Community College. I am an English tutor. I man the "Language Lab." People needing help with Enlish homework, grammar or writing papers come to me for help. Otherwise I just sit in here and work on my own stuff. Right now I'm learning how to knit socks. I will post a picture of my completed sock when I finish it. It is NOT easy. I had to rip out the heel and do it four times. I really enjoy knitting though which is a new developement. I've always been kind of a crochet type of gal.
My herbalism program is coming along. I'm supposed to finish lesson 11 today and 12 by the end of this week. I'd better get crackin'. Right now i'm practicing doing health analysis and evaluation on people. I did one on myself, a friend, and now I've got to finish one for a family member. I find it extremely exciting to look at someone's health history, family history, current symptoms and issues and to do research to find out what nutrients in foods, supplements and botanicals can help them. I love it. I absolutely can't wait, however, until I finish this and start working on my Doula certification. That is my real passion. I love pregnancy and everything about. I love ministering to pregnant women. I like reading about and developing botanical medicines and treatments for them. My latest project was a sitz bath mixture for post-partum healing. I got some ideas from my instructor, Mrs. Shonda Parker, and then also from another herbal company. Here is what I put in the mixture:
Post-Partum Sitz Bath:
I used Equal parts of
Comfrey leaf
Plantain Leaf
Lavendar Flowers
Chamomile Flowers
Calendula Flowers
St. Johns Wort
Arnica Flowers
Then I filled the rest of the bag up with Sea Salt. The finished product filled up a gallon zip-lock bag.
This isn't my mixture, but I thought it was a nice idea to put it in a mason jar and you could even tie a little ribbon around it!
I gave this and some other pregnancy goodies to a friend of mine for her baby shower. I've also made homemade Baby Bum Balm, and Baby Powder. I get most of my herbs from www.bulkherbstore.com and www.morethanalive.com they are great resources!
Other than that folks, i'm busy with my granny, with my family, cleaning my house using the AMAZING flylady system, and walking the beauiful Carolina beaches. Holiday preperations have begun. Stand-by for great recipe's and homemade gift ideas. See ya!
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